Love In The First Degree

Valentine’s Day is a crime against common sense

Friday • February 13, 2009

PHIN WONG

plus editor phin@mediacorp.com.sg



VALENTINE’S Day. Good gosh, I can’t even type the words without throwing up a little in my mouth.

Remind me not to have curry for lunch again. It burns the back of the throat.

“Are you going to be celebrating Valentine’s Day?” a friend SMSed, quite innocently.

“No,” I replied, right after I had swallowed my meal for the second time. “I hate Valentine’s Day and the stupid couples who dress in stupid colour-coordinated outfits with their stupid bouquets and their stupid stuffed toys and their stupid public displays of affection.”

“Hahahahahahaha,” she replied, “You’re funny.”

Darn it, woman, I was being serious.

Love is often viewed through the eyes of the insane. Okay, that’s not entirely true. Love is also sometimes viewed through the eyes of the really dumb.

Take, for example, that incongruous Eagles song, Love Will Keep Us Alive. “I was standing all alone against the world outside, you were searching for a place to hide,” the dude sings. How lovely — he’s a social misfit and she’s probably got mild autism.

“Lost and lonely, now you’ve given me the will to survive,” he continues. Wonderful. He’s suicidal as well. What a catch. This one’s a keeper, ladies.

“When we’re hungry, love will keep us alive,” he proclaims. Yes, it will, sweetheart. Love will keep you two lovebirds alive — but only with a healthy dose of cannibalism. Mmm. Human — the other white meat.

All the other big love songs aren’t much better. You’re Still the One? I’m sorry, were you expecting someone else? When a Man Loves a Woman? So, you’re heterosexual. What do you want? Applause? Can’t Smile Without You? Serial killer psycho stalker. How Do I Live? Eat something. Just the Two of Us? Oh, good god, you’ve killed my family. Breathe? Gee, thanks for the tip, Faith Hill.

Of course, love isn’t always portrayed as idiotic. In Hollywood, it’s usually just superficial.

Walking out of the oddly soul-less Curious Case of Benjamin Button, I overheard the gentleman behind me coo to his friends: “Aww, that’s so romantic. She stayed with him even though he was getting younger while she was getting older.” Well, duh. He was aging backwards to becoming a sunkissed Brad Pitt. I’d say that’s incentive enough. Would the movie have been as “romantic” if he was becoming Steve Urkel? I think not.

In fact, what’s so curious about that? Most women date older men when they’re younger and it isn’t unusual for older women to enjoy getting biblical with younger stud muffins. Demi Moore — google her.

I’m not a love Scrooge with a black hole where my heart should be. Far from it, really. I’m most definitely a romantic.

Even as a child watching Annie, I knew all Carol Burnett’s wretched Miss Hannigan needed was a good man to love her (and a good 12-step detox programme) to turn that frown upside-down. And Daddy Warbucks just needed to get laid.

What I don’t appreciate is the effect these love songs and sweeping silver-screen romances have on real people. Pop culture has an indisputable effect on society. But isn’t it bad enough that your neighbour’s Chinese kid thinks he’s a gangsta rapper from da hood? Why on earth would we want to end up romantically retarded because of Celine Dion and her Duracell heart that goes on and on and on?

Which brings me back to Valentine’s Day. (There goes my gag reflex again.)Feb 14 is the culmination of every asinine idea of what love is supposed to be according to the sacred Book of Aniston. The misguided belief in “The One”. The little blue box from Tiffany & Co. The bed of roses. The fancy dinner. The happily-ever-after. The kiss in the rain. None of this actually has anything to do with love — it has everything to do with being in love with the idea of being in love.

Get a grip, people. There’s a not-so-fine line between reality and entertainment. You didn’t really think Michael Jackson was “bad” did you?

But, hey, I’m not delusional — I know we’ll never be rid of the cash cow that is VD (admit it, Valentine’s Day is as contagious and harder to get rid of than crabs).

So with everything else in life that we can’t change — like natural disasters and the refusal of the Survivor series to die a dignified death — I’ve learned to take a more constructive view of the situation.

Valentine’s Day is a wonderful way to sieve out the people you shouldn’t date. If your boyfriend is dumb enough to spend $600 on a reheated set-dinner for two and a ridiculously tacky bouquet the size of a walrus instead of taking you on vacation, your future child has a 50 per cent chance of not being the brightest bulb in Ikea.

Love is grand. Genetics, however, is everything.

'Gay acts harm no one' argument flawed

Taken from the Straits Times:-

Mr Choo Zheng Xi (" Justify why gay acts should remain criminal"; ST May1) asserts that while individual liberties can be constrained to prevent harm to society, Section 377 should be abolished on the grounds that gay acts harm no one. Following this line of argument, laws regarding motorcyclists to wear helmets and motorists, seat belts, would have to be repealed because no harm is caused to others when they fail to do so.

Therefore it is not always the case that clear harm to other people has to be proven before a particular law is enacted. H.L.A. Hart, the 20th-century philosopher, pointed out that the harm principle is justified only if most people make their choices in the ideal fashio - " with adequate reflection or appreciation of the consequences."

In the real world, many external forces exert their influence on individuals. Professor Tan Siew Hon once argued in an article regarding the issue of unnatural sex that " when longstanding laws rooted in morality are repealed, the effect on members of society who are hitherto neutral,and on inpressionable youths , may be disastrous".

Decriminalising homosexuality is as much a moral stance as criminalising it. By decriminalising homosexuality, we are necessarily sending out a signal of approval because we have engaged one moral world view - that autonomy is an absolute value - when this view is in contention among different world views. Section 377 should be abolished only if there are rational reasons for choosing that world view over another.

Sunny island of Sentosa

Few days ago on thursday, 7th of September
ER5 crew went to Sentosa, 6 of us

Me, Ajim besar, Ajim kecik, Alan, Hannan, Apul

Dude we had a great time

the beach...the sand and the sea

its good tho', once in a blue moon
to get away, just get away from it all
to get in touch, with ourselves
to spend quality time

coz we S'poreans are just too Freakin stressed up.
with what? with stayin alive. yup.
we work our butts off, just to stay alive.
'study hard', they say.
'work hard'. that's what everyones' doing.

coz beneath it all,
the sun
the sand
the sea
the chilling out

is a reality that we all face
fate, some call it
that we must fight
a battle we just canNOT lose

The Steps to success

1) Plan
2) Execute
3) Get over it

New year, New stuff

My New Year Resolutions

1. Become a better soccer player.
2. Settle down and start real work.
3. Be more serious.
4. Make some money.
5. Make a plan.
6. Train to run faster and further, for longer.
7. Play hard, study hard.

It's gonna be a hard long life.
Hello, 2006

me racist? hmm

okay so i said something bad about malays. boohoo.
is it really bad?
if they are like that, then how come they deny it?
ok so they don't really deny it.(its still true tho)
my own people caught in a rut
not wanting to take criticism.
so be it. stay that way. for all i care.
which makes me weep tho
coz i am one of them. how? how do i
change for the better?
its like saving the world, know what i mean....
so wake up guys, before its really too late

From Inuyasha movie 3

if we meet and we love only to separate
then i'm sure we'll meet again
by fumblling deep in my memories
i can find sweet shadows
i can taste the sweetnest of the past
although you are not anywhere
i'll be alright, if i close my eyes, you'll be there
in unchanging love, i believe

when the spring light gathers, it makes the flowers bloom
in the summer i find the moon floating on the sea
with the autumn wind and winter snow, with a single wish to become
four seasons with your love once again

the promise that was a wish fades away as time passes by
can you feel me underneath the skin?
if my feelings have accumulated so much
we'll be alright if we believe in one another
no matter how far apart we are, stay with me

we go out and meet the night where the spring flowers sleep
leaving a message in the summer's sandy beach
the autumn rain and winter tears with undecorated love i wish to be warm
four seasons with your love within a dream

time still flows within my heart, truthfully
our days together are quickly becoming memories
with love and dreams becoming forgotten, whenever the day is i wish to be warm...
four seasons with your love within my heart